Let’s get something out of the way:

You are not your thoughts or the stories you tell yourself about yourself. You are not the roles, the labels or the diagnoses. You are not the mind, nor that which can be constructed from mind. You are what is aware of all this.

You are vaster than this. You, my dear, are what holds this (and stars and galaxies and universes), and in truth, gives rise to all of this.

If you’re reading this, you’re on this spiritual ride. And I want you to know: you just never know.

For years after the abiding nondual - or unity - realization, there was this light shining through everything. Pervasive love and interconnection. Non-separation. It was always here and it was a very pleasurable experience.

It was consistently there in the background, and often the foreground, as I lived my life. It was there while I went about my daily routine, pouring tea or tripping over my shoes.

And then something happened.

I always felt I had a secret.

There was something about me that wasn’t quite “right”. Different.

From a young age, I learned this secret needed to be worked around, managed, shielded from others.

Well into adulthood, I finally relaxed into who I am. But it was always there. A quiet truth, patiently waiting beneath the surface of my life.

What was it about me that didn’t quite make sense with how the world works?